A Quick Note

Just thought I'd ramble for a moment between market research and the occassional splash of water from the Nalgene. Tomorrow I'll head back to NJ for the nth time this year, as age begins to fad in and time starts to blend memories (all this at 24...I think 24, jk)(oh, the drama) I can't keep the trips straight/repressed the memories. But for the first time in a long time I'll be headed there for a good reason, not a sad one. With all the tragedy in my families life in the last four years, its a wonder we're not more screwed up than we are. Three deaths in four years, two fathers and a grandmother. Enough pain to put you on the 7th floor, room B12, swearing the sidewalk spoke to you. Pain is endured, wounds heal, and time marches onward whether you intend it to or not, and all we can do is move on. Is it bad that the best way to deal with it is not to deal with it. I don't mean in the sense that you've denied your emotion the right to mourn and feel troubled, but their comes a time when moving on means shutting out. Comfort is found in distraction, distraction becomes common, and low and behold you've progressed. But have you. Because thinking about it again propels you directly to where you were before, just with less recollection. If that's progress then so be it, but it doesn't seem like a theraputic heal. Why do I think overcoming tragedy is a matter of numbing yourself to the pain it brings? Is that progress? I don't suffer from what I speak, but think about the turmoil it can bring to ones' everyday.